I Guess I Have To Start All Over

This past week, I have been making breakfast for my family as I usually do, and sometimes I need to pack said breakfast for them to go. I was feeling overly motherly this week, and it was a bit weird. I mean, I don’t have kids yet but it’s almost as if it’s a glimpse of the future.

Anywho, unto my two cents for today. I have been trying to do a few restructuring in my life and schedule. You know that moment when you feel you have something all figured out, like the formula you have is sure to work? Well, I felt that way, and it happens to be that it didn’t work as I planned. I couldn’t get myself to stick or commit to the things that I needed to, so it’s back to the drawing board for me.

In that process of watching things go south, I was reminded of a few things.

First is the fact that systems are inevitable. If you want something to work, you have to do it systematically and in an orderly fashion. For a very long time, I used to be the kind of person that gets things done. That’s a good thing but the ‘how’ is where the problem lies. Whatever was committed into my hands, I do it well, so that’s not what I am talking about here, what I mean is, I used to be the kind of person that if I have to get 5 things done today, the main thing is to get it done yeah? It will get done, just not systematically.

I may choose to hold out on doing everything all day until the last minute, or scatter them haphazardly all over my day, since the end goal is to get it done.

I learnt the need for systems. I got to know that, yes, I achieve the goal by getting it done, but what about the trail of bad habits I have nurtured in doing that, like procrastination, for example?

Sometimes, because we get the result we are looking for, we ignore the process since it doesn’t have an immediate negative impact on us, but how about in the long run? Because those things end up translating into everything we do.

I then decided to be as systematic as possible -God help me.

It wasn’t until analyzing what went wrong with the current project I was working on that I realized that it was because I didn’t have a system to it, so I just went about it as I saw fit, and since I was getting results, everything seemed fine -until it wasn’t.

So I went back to build it right. I am not done building but I have to write for today and thought to share it.

The second thing was the confidence to start all over, to rip the sheet right off the board and then do it again.

I used the word confidence cause I didn’t want to use the word trepidation (but I guess I did:))

At some point, before I decided to scratch what I had off and begin again, I had hesitations. I felt like since I realized what the issue was, I could just build up from there, do things right from there on out. I am not saying that is a bad thing necessarily, but in this case, it wouldn’t work.

I had to get over my sentimental attachment to what I had going on and just do it. It was a necessity, so I know I am starting on the right foot.

Oftentimes the whole ‘attachment to what we have going on’ thing is the main reason why we have drawbacks. Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that this isn’t working and start over. And that is exactly what I am doing, and I sure hope I get it right this time, torí pé I not have to be accountable to the words I have written.

Till next time,

Remember to spread nothing but love and keep reaching for the stars.