Today I want to talk about not being afraid to let go.
This is a topic that was requested as well and I just want to share my two cents on it.
When I was asked to write about this topic, I thought about it because a lot of my expression through this blog is sharing my thoughts or experiences where it matters. So it’s really my take on it as opposed to sharing somebody else’s experience or else I’ve been given the permission to share that experience.
When I thought about letting go, it came to me on three different levels. It came to me in terms of letting go of hurt. It came to me in terms of letting go of control and it came to me in terms of letting go of attachment, so to say.
I’ll break down what I mean in this sense, in no particular order really.
Starting with letting go of hurt, it would be very unrealistic and impossible for me to say that I have never been hurt by people. I’ve been hurt by people distant and close. I’ve been hurt by people who are my subordinates and people who I answer to. I’ve been hurt by friends. You know, disagreements happen. I’ve been hurt on different scales, minor ones and big ones. And when it came to letting go of hurt for me, I realized that forgiving and forgetting is what really comes into play.
To think that I used think the statement ‘forgive but don’t forget’ was nice, due to the growth that I’ve experienced, I now understand that I don’t want to live by that statement.
I mean, whoever coined that statement has a place that they’re coming from because you need to not forget something so that you don’t give them the room to hurt you twice.
Yeah, but that doesn’t really work for me.
I’ve realized that it is very, very easy for me to forgive. That comes naturally.
Forgetting, that’s where it lies. And I realized that the moment I can get myself to forget about it, the moment I can move on.
For some people, it’s the other way around. Forgiveness is the hard part.
For me, if I hold on to it and say that I don’t want to forget, now that’s where the problem lies.
Now, the forgetting doesn’t mean that I erase my memory and still let people keep doing what they do. No, forgetting for me means that I learn from that experience and I move on.
I know what happened. The scenario isn’t erased from my memory. But I would not think about it. It is conscious forgetting.
You know, sometimes I like to joke with my friends and say that I have a selective memory. I choose to remember what I want to remember. So, in this case, what I am trying to say is that It’s more about you getting yourself to the point to where you don’t think about it.
And even when you do, you don’t care. So, I deliberately forget things.
Here’s the thing. What do you do when the person who hurts you is someone you can’t get rid of? Absolutely nothing. And you’ll be doing yourself the greatest disservice if you’re still living in that broken state and hurt.
The best way you can do things and go about this is to try to let it go as much as you can. And sometimes that’s really difficult to do.
I find out oftentimes in a lot of relationships that I always have to be the bigger person. And in the moment when I’m actually feeling that pain, that hurt, I’m like, I don’t want to be the bigger person. Why do I always have to be? Why can’t you see what you’re doing wrong?
But what I’ve also learned to do is to gauge the relationship. If this person is someone that is truly pivotal to my living or not, and I make my decision on where to take things from there. I still forgive and forget but the relationship no longer has any weight or holds any value to me.
And one thing I’ve learned is the people who are truly important to you and you’re equally as important to them, don’t take your feelings lightly.
When you say you don’t like something, they do their best to work on it.
But that doesn’t take away from the fact that you’ve been hurt. Truth is, that is life. We have to learn to let go. I had to learn to forgive and let go. And not think about it twice, whether it feels unfair or not. And I’ve gotten to the point where it doesn’t really matter to me anymore. Not as much as it used to. The pain in that moment is brutal, it’s still there. But afterwards, very quickly, I find it easy to dust myself up and bounce back.
The second part is not being afraid to let go of control and this is something that I learned in my journey with God.
I learned that when it comes to God you need to be willing to let go of the reins over your life.
I realized that in our lives we’re not always the best drivers. We don’t make the best decisions and the best way to make sure that we’re always on track is to always seek the input of God and sometimes when you seek it you hear things you don’t want to hear, he asks you to do things you don’t want to do, he ask you to do things that seem crazy but you still have to.
You need to be submissive as a subject to God such that you’re willing to let go and fulfill his will because here is the thing about letting go with God. It not just shows that you acknowledge him as your king but it also shows that you value his input and you respect his words and will for you.
It shows that hold him in high esteem and you’re willing to lay down your own wants for him and what I realized is, his choices for us are always better than whatever it is we thought we had for ourselves, regardless of whether at that point in time it seems like it or not.
I realized that if you stick by it long enough you begin to see things from a different perspective and you understand more.
I have long since let go and not doubt God about where I’ll end up. Knowing and trusting that in letting go I am giving the reins over to someone who’s direction is precise.
The last part is not being afraid let go of attachment and this for me came in form of how sometimes we have people in our life who are not the best fit for us, and where the letting go part comes in is sometimes they’re not the best fit for us but then it doesn’t mean that they are terrible people.
I remember writing in something I posted earlier in the month about one of the statements that I encountered recently.
‘When you know where you’re going you only keep the people that helps you get there.’
There’s a lot more about that statement than the surface value but that one is stories for another day.
I am growing as a woman, I am growing as a youth, I am growing as a believer and in all forms. I am constantly learning.
There is someone that I know and love. I came to an understanding recently that this person doesn’t really have a lot going on for them.
Their actions of late made me realize that in this phase of my life right now that I need to let go. Maybe later we might pick things back up, who knows, but right now I need to let go and it’s crazy because I don’t want to, like I said, I love them.
Despite my love for them, they are not what’s best for me right now. Letting go here doesn’t mean I’m terminating the relationship, I don’t know if that is what I am meant to do yet honestly, it just means taking a step back for a while.
Maybe we’ll come back together, maybe we won’t, I don’t know but sometimes you have to make the tough decision and swallow that tough pill.
So……. yeah that’s my thoughts on letting go.
Letting go, sometimes is just choosing to love yourself enough to want to heal, or make the best decisions.
Alrighty then, that’s all for now. You know how it is. Remember to spread nothing but love and keep reaching for the stars.
